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Friday, November 6, 2015

The Emotion of the Acceptance

As you all know, I recently accepted a spot in the Practical Nursing program in January of 2016. I am 29 years old and am just getting to chase my dreams now.

Here is the thing... I have work SO hard the past few years to get all of the prerequisites to get in to the program. When I was in high school I not only didn't actually finish high school, I only took 1 of 6 required courses in gr 12 was English and I finished with a 64. Nursing is highly competitive and you need to have all course grades quite high to get in.

I was told my a teacher early in high school that I would never be a nurse. I kind of believed him. I gave up completely. Whats the point of trying if I am just going to fail. I don't need to have the best grades to be a cook. Ill just do that instead, I don't even need to finish high school to be a cook.

I tried that for a long time. I was the best cook I could possibly be. I even went to college to be an even better cook. I was the top of my class. After a few years it was becoming more and more difficult to keep pushing in a industry when you are treated like crap, working 16 hour days, no days off, no breaks, making peanuts - even being college educated when really all I want to be doing is being a nurse in a hospital, changing/ saving lives. Im aware that it will still be 12 hour days and no days off but I will be doing what I actually want to be doing.

I pushed so very hard to get all my pre requisites completed with a top grade. I have spent years getting to this place. It was not easy for me, especially overcoming the self doubt that was put in place by that teacher.

For this being such a huge accomplishment in my life I sort of expected everyone to see it the same and get all of these "Wow, Congrats I know you have worked so hard" or "you deserve it" type comments from people when the found out that I got accepted. But I think most people dont actually see it that way. When I tell people I have actually had them say "oh okay" which feels like its more of a oh wow that took forever, or finally you are getting your life on track 10 years late. It was really weird for me and was a little discouraging that the people the closest to me were not more congratulatory but that just means that this is going to be a personal journey that I am going to take on my own. I am going to become the best nurse that I can be and have the best live that I can have.

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